Feb 12, 2007
It's a well-known fact that many people seek to be victims. Quite simply, victims go to better colleges, and upon entering the workforce, the pay is better. But I've noticed a different kind of victim, one who can't claim any racial, ethnic, gender, financial, physical, mental, or emotional handicap as their source of misfortune. These people blend in with everyone else and have the same rights and opportunities as their peers. But for whatever reason, they find a way to become a victim.
One example is a girl who used to go to my church. She was an active member and enjoyed attending, even though she felt that the music could be a little more enthusiastic (white people have no rhythm). I hadn't seen her in a while and finally caught up with her to ask her where she had been. She described to me some sort of "snafu" where her daughter was meant to be in a church play, but the director chided her in front of the other kids because of her behavior. When she (the mother) found out about it, she sent a letter (actually, an email) to the director/pastor in complaint. The director's wife sent a response, but because it was from the wife and not the director, it was a big problem. So the girl stopped attending church and was looking around for another one. I understand that people make mistakes and some mistakes cause hurt feelings, and these hurt feelings might lead to a break in friendship and a desire to find a healthier atmosphere. However, I have a feeling that the girl was just looking for a reason to leave the church, and once she found her opportunity, she magnified it until it became a viable reason to leave.
Another example is a guy I work with. His supervisor told him to go see his co-worker when he needed some work to do. He went to see the co-worker and did the assigned work, but after completing it, he complained of having no work to do (oh the horror). He magnified his complaint and talked to the boss and is now given special treatment because of his "special" situation.
I keep coming across things like this in my daily life. I'll write more when I hear about them. #psychology
One example is a girl who used to go to my church. She was an active member and enjoyed attending, even though she felt that the music could be a little more enthusiastic (white people have no rhythm). I hadn't seen her in a while and finally caught up with her to ask her where she had been. She described to me some sort of "snafu" where her daughter was meant to be in a church play, but the director chided her in front of the other kids because of her behavior. When she (the mother) found out about it, she sent a letter (actually, an email) to the director/pastor in complaint. The director's wife sent a response, but because it was from the wife and not the director, it was a big problem. So the girl stopped attending church and was looking around for another one. I understand that people make mistakes and some mistakes cause hurt feelings, and these hurt feelings might lead to a break in friendship and a desire to find a healthier atmosphere. However, I have a feeling that the girl was just looking for a reason to leave the church, and once she found her opportunity, she magnified it until it became a viable reason to leave.
Another example is a guy I work with. His supervisor told him to go see his co-worker when he needed some work to do. He went to see the co-worker and did the assigned work, but after completing it, he complained of having no work to do (oh the horror). He magnified his complaint and talked to the boss and is now given special treatment because of his "special" situation.
I keep coming across things like this in my daily life. I'll write more when I hear about them. #psychology