I watched the Bears pummel the Seahawks for a little while last night, and I was reminded again that I sometimes like watching football just for the sake of watching football, regardless of whether or not I like the teams or if the outcome can possibly affect me in any way.  Football is a great sport, and here's why: 

1.  Linebackers.  Somebody should make a video of Brian Urlacher or Tedy Bruschi and call it "How to Play Football".  Guys like this do things right.  They hit hard, they tackle perfectly, they intercept passes, they rush and sack the quarterback.  In my opinion, linebackers are the defense. 

2.  Fullbacks.  The average fullback is one of the most under-appreciated players on the field.  This is the guy who makes the star running back the star running back.  He runs, catches passes, and throws powerful blocks by running through people.  He's the offensive equal to the linebacker. 

3.  Perfect tackles (the action, not the position).  I'm not talking about the "big hit" or the knee shot.  I'm talking about a tackle straight out of the instruction manual.  "Wrap both arms around player's legs; squeeze; watch player fall to ground."  It's not showy or exciting, but it's simple and gets the job done.  I'd rather count on a player's ability to take an opponent down than on his ability to hit. 

4.  Solid blocks.  There's just nothing better than watching somebody make a perfect block.  It usually happens downfield, when a player is running with the ball and defenders are running towards him.  That's when somebody like a fullback runs full-force into an unsuspecting defensive back, lifts him off his feet, and sends him to the ground.  [Physics content] Never underestimate the power of momentum. 

5.  The stiff-arm.  Although most people hate Terrell Owens, he has one thing going for him:  He can stiff-arm better than anyone.  When little tiny defensive backs try to grab onto him to bring him down, he just sticks out one of his gigantor arms and keeps the defender's head away from him.  Without a head, a defender has quite a difficult time tackling. 

6.  Endzone celebrations.  Though controversial, endzone celebrations are a blend of happiness, team pride, and entertainment.  Think of where the world would be without the Joe Horn cell phone call, the Randy Moss mooning incident, and the now-common Lambeau Leap.  It adds a whole new dimension to the game:  Pride for the winner, shame for the loser. 

These things are what make football a great sport.  But then there are a few things that take away from football's greatness: 

1.  The low hit.  This is a difficult one.  Low hits are perfectly legal.  In fact, they're necessary.  A defender can't take down a running back if the running back gets lower than the defender.  He'll have nothing to grab onto.  But you only need to witness one severe knee injury to hate everything about the low hit. 

2.  Defensive back tackles.  As opposed to a linebacker tackle or the "perfect tackle", a defensive back tackles by impact.  It's stupid, unnecessary, largely ineffective, and often causes injuries.  The only reason defensive backs are able to take people down is because several of them team up like a swarm of bees to attack a foe.  If it was one defensive back against one offensive back, the offender would plow right through the defender's armless tackle.  It's the exact opposite of what's taught in the instruction manual. 

3.  Sideline reporters.  Although this has nothing to do with the actual game of football, it's an unavoidable by-product of watching a televised game.  I personally have no interest in anything Tony Siragusa or Pam Oliver have to say.  I think that not only do they add nothing to the game, they actually take something away from it.  Listening to them scream into their microphones while a play is happening shows that they have no concept of what's actually happening on the field. #sports