I don't like diners.  I've had quite a few bad experiences at them, but those experiences are largely my own fault.  I used to be the kind of idiot who would walk into a diner and order the Fillet Mignon or the Blackened Catfish.  After repeated failures, I finally learned that diners are only good for 3 things:  Breakfast, turkey BLTs, and some deserts.  Those dictionary-sized menus are completely useless.  How can a little restaurant offer 3000 different meals at any time of the day?  It's simple:  Microwaves.  And though they vehemently deny it, they all use them. 

So it's kinda funny when people go to a diner and are disappointed by the experience.  What did you expect?  It's a diner!  "My eggplant is cold."  "My water tastes like death."  "This bread is moldy."  "These pickles aren't quite right."  Of course everything is gross; it's a diner!  For some reason, I seem to be the only person who thinks diners are terrible.  Everyone always says things like, "That diner in Randolph is terrible, but the one in Roxbury is great!"  I have news for you:  All diners are the same.  They all have terrible food, dirty water, and mediocre service.  I'll never be pleasantly surprised by an experience at a diner.  But I'll probably continue to eat at them, just so I can get some nice simple breakfasts, turkey BLTs, and deserts. #food