Green Light Anxiety Disorder (1) May 19, 2006
Whenever I approach a green light while driving, my heart starts beating faster and harder.  I'm usually going around 50mph, and the fact that the light is green means it could change any second.  But I really hate using my brakes when I don't need to, so I maintain constant speed as I approach and go through a green light.  The problem is that there's a "minimum braking distance" as I'm approaching the green light.  In other words, once I cross a certain line on the road, my car can't possibly stop if the light turns yellow.  It's like the point of no return.  If the light turns yellow before this line, I can easily slow down and stop while the light turns red.  But if it's green and I pass this line, I can't slow down or stop.  In fact, I usually accelerate.  So right around that minimum braking distance, my heart races and I become super-aware of my surroundings.  I know who's behind me.  I know where cops would hide.  I know what color underwear I'm wearing.  These few seconds of hyperactivity have been aptly titled (by me) Green Light Anxiety Disorder.  It has an official name because it happens at literally every single traffic light I've ever passed through in the entire history of my strange little life.  You'd think I'd get used to it or figure out how to turn it off completely.  But no.  I struggle with this disorder day in and day it, hoping someday that a miracle cure will be found. #travel
A sign May 19, 2006
When talking about Christianity, a lot of people say something like, "If God really wants me to believe, he should show me some sort of unmistakable sign.  That way, there'd be no way I could doubt the existence of God."  The official response to that question is this:  God already did that.  But people didn't believe the sign, beat him up, and killed him.  The typical re-response to that is something along the lines of, "Well that was 2000 years ago.  How about something recent?" 

The thing is, I don't think some people will believe any sign, no matter how convincing it is.  The people in Jesus' day didn't believe the things they saw him do on a daily basis.  Today's Our Daily Bread talks about this.  It talks about a passage from John, right after the story of Jesus feeding over 5000 people with a few loaves of bread and a few fish.  After this miraculous event, Jesus took a boat to the other side of the lake, and a bunch of the people came after him.  Jesus calls them out, saying (basically), "You're trying to find me so you can benefit from these cool miracles I'm performing.  You should really be trying to find out about God and eternal life." (vs. 26-27).  In response, the people ask him to perform a miracle so they'll know he's legit.  If that wasn't bad enough, they mention a story from several thousand years in Israel's past where God provided bread (manna) for his people to eat while they were living in the desert.  So in other words, the people saw Jesus perform a miracle, and then they asked him to basically perform the same one again. 

My point is this:  People ask for a sign, but they've historically rejected or denied that sign.  So maybe a sign isn't what it's gonna take.  Maybe what God says is right:  "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."  Or maybe that cover-all "Christian cop-out" called "faith" is where it's at:  "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." #religion