Back in the early 1900s (or maybe the 1990s ... whatever) when there were large electronic boxes called "answering machines", the owner used to have to record a greeting that gave pretty specific instructions for the caller.  It usually went something like, "Hi, you have reached ______.  Please leave your name, number, and a short message, and I'll return your call as soon as I can.  Thanks." 

Flip to 2006.  There isn't a person on earth (except maybe those dudes in End of the Spear) that don't know what an answering machine is or how to use it.  In fact, most answering machines have become obsolete and have been replaced by that cyborg lady that lives in a computer and answers millions of phones at once (You know her; she says, "Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system"). 

But people still record their own greetings.  I think this is a problem.  As I'm listening to someone give me instructions for how to leave a voicemail, I'm thinking, "Why is this person wasting my time by telling me what I already know?"  So my advice to all people on earth is this:  Don't record your own greeting.  Use that cyborg lady.  She has one job in life, and she does it well.  And even she thinks her job is stupid.  But there's no way around her.  Unless you're telling me some sort of new and useful information (like when you'll be back or who else I can call), don't record your own greeting. #technology