So I got a couple tickets a few weeks ago.  So what? 

The cop said he could give me two tickets for speeding in two different zones.  That sounds made up.  Couldn't he have followed me the whole time I was speeding and given me a ticket for every second I was over the speed limit?  Then he could've given me like 600 tickets.  That sounds like the penalty definitely fits the crime.  And that wonderful cop would've really earned his pay.  High-fives from his police buddies.  "600 tickets.  That's awesome.  I wish I was you."  Anyway, instead of giving me two tickets for two different speeding infractions, he gave me one ticket under the title "Careless driving".  He said he was doing me a favor.  Isn't that nice?  He tried to make me hate him less by only giving me one ticket instead of two.  Wow.  Thanks a lot buddy.  You really made my day.  But then he said I ran a red light.  I'm usually pretty observant when I'm driving.  I don't remember running a red light.  But he said I did.  How can I fight that?  He's a cop, the smartest, most awesome race of humans that has ever existed.  But again, since he was a nice guy, he gave me a ticket under the title "Unclear plates" because it has no points associated with it.  I thought about removing the thing around my license plate, but I decided to keep it so it can get me out of more tickets. 

The cop said this funny and interesting thing:  "I got you for speeding back in Landing and I just caught up with you here in Ledgewood."  That's about a 5-mile difference, most of which is on 4-lane 50-mph roads.  I drive a 4-cylinder Toyota Camry.  It's a great car, but it's obviously no V-8 Police Interceptor.  For this idiot to take 5 miles to catch up to a "speeding" Japanese import says a lot about his ability as a patroller of our roads. 

Forget the fact that I got charged a late fee for each ticket because I didn't pay them on time because I was traveling for two weeks.  Not a big deal; I have money out the yin yang.  As I'm looking at the ticket, I see this:  "To make payment via the Internet or for more information, log on to:  www.njmcdirect.com".  Isn't that awesome?  Not only can I pay my ticket online, but I can get credit card reward points for doing it.  Cha-ching!

The best part about this ordeal is that the roads are now safer because I'm paying more money for car insurance.  God bless America. #travel