Shoulder Sep 1, 2005
Sometimes, when I'm driving, I see people use the shoulder to gain speed before they enter the road.  They're dumb.  They think they're causing less of a problem because they're entering the "roadway" after gaining some speed by driving in the shoulder.  What they don't realize is that they're actually causing the same problem they're trying to prevent because most normal people have to slow down because it looks like some idiot is trying to cut them off. #travel
Middle East Sep 1, 2005
Uh oh!  Time for my uninformed, rascist tirade about how to fix the world!  Sometimes I watch TV to learn what's going on in the world.  That's probably a bad idea.  Whenever there's any news about anything in the Middle East, I see one thing in common, and I have a recommendation:  remove all rocks.  It seems like that's the Middle Easterner's solution to every problem:  throw rocks.  "You invade my country?  I throw rocks.  You bulldoze my house?  I throw rocks.  My wife gave birth?  I throw rocks."  And I hate to be the jerk in the group, but I have a little bit of information for people who throw rocks.  You will not defeat a heavily armored, 50 ton tank by throwing rocks.  You won't defeat a heavily armed, brutally trained army by throwing rocks.  Rocks are pretty much useless.  Unless somebody gets hit in the head.  That really hurts.  But it doesn't change too much in terms of foreign policy. 

So instead of rocks, pick up some guns and shoot 'em up in the air!  Do it in celebration, in anger, or really for any reason you want.  And here's my reasoning:  what goes up must come down.  If enough people shoot into the air, it can really cause some damage (unless you're smart and know about physics and know that a bullet can't gain enough speed when falling from the sky to do any large amount of damage because it's slowed down by air/wind resistance).  Assuming physics isn't true, we can hope that all the bullets fired into the air in Iraq will fall on Iran, the ones from Syria will fall on Lebanon, and the ones from Jordan will fall on Egypt.  Problem solved! #politics