Sometimes I wish I drove one of those big old 70s clunker cars with real metal bumpers.  If anybody did something stupid, I'd just plow into them.  A love tap.  That's all.  Or how about a less destructive solution:  vehicle-mounted paintball guns.  The idea is that you have a paintball gun mounted to your car with a button inside your car that controls the trigger.  Whenever someone cuts you off or doesn't use the center turning lane or rides your tail for a while, you shoot their car with a paintball.  As you drove around, you'd notice that certain cars would be covered with paint.  These are the idiots.  Stay away from them.  It's like a warning label.  If you saw a car with a lot of paint, you'd slow down or go a different way.  This would result in less interaction with idiots, and they'd no longer be a problem, except of course to other idiots.  So the problem would take care of itself.  Genius! #travel