Peppers and onions Dec 12, 2007
Dear peppers and onions,
I like you guys.  I like you a lot.  Chili is just meat and beans without you.  Salsa is just tomatoes.  I wouldn't say you're the foundation of any meal, but you're definitely the culmination of quite a few meals. 

The thing is, my body doesn't like you.  Peppers, I taste you for hours after I eat you.  Like 6 hours.  And it's not so much the taste as it's the taste of burping.  It's like you never went down my throat and into my stomach.  You're still very much in my mouth.  That might be cool for some people, but it's not cool for me, or for anybody that gets within breathing distance of me. 

Onions, my body really doesn't like you.  It treats you like poison:  "Get this stuff outta here as soon as possible."  I can smell you for hours after I eat you.  Like 12 hours.  If I eat you for dinner one night, I'll still taste you in the morning.  And while I think your taste adds a flavor that no other food can provide, I'd rather not be exuding your scent through my pores and breath for hours upon hours. 

In conclusion, I like you peppers and onions, but we need to limit our interaction.  Sorry.
Sincerely,
Dave #food
Price of services Dec 12, 2007
Shouldn't the price of services like cable, phone, and internet decrease with time, or at least remain the same?  Instead, all three are constantly increasing, and it doesn't make much sense.  Pretty much every type of technology decreases in cost over time.  The first digital camera I bought in 2002 cost about $225.  Nowadays, the cheapest digital camera has better features than that one, and it's about half the price.  Two things happened between then and now:  (1) Components became cheaper as manufacturing costs leveled out, and (2) supply/demand and competition drove the overall price down as more and more digital cameras flooded the market and more and more people became buyers. 

Shouldn't this work with cable?  I can't imagine much has changed since the middle of last century, aside from the whole "let's all switch to digital" thing.  But that was several years ago.  Shouldn't prices have leveled off?  It would make sense if prices decreased steadily in the 80s and 90, increased slightly whenever that digital thing happened, and then continued to decrease steadily through today.  But that's not what happened.  My cable bill just went up again recently, leaving me to think, "Good GOD, what do you bloodsucking leeches want from me?" 

In terms of technology, the services I mentioned essentially use the same thing:  Wires.  I just learned from the History Channel last night that the majority of our nation has been fully wired for the past 50 years.  Aside from routine maintenance, what can my money possibly be going towards?  The technology to use the services has changed, e.g. we went from analog receivers to digital receivers, rotary handsets to digital handsets, dial-up modems to cable modems.  But that's a cost we readily pay for when we get new phones and computers; that's not a cost associated with delivery of the service.  I guess we pay more as more channels are introduced (against our will) and the cable company introduces new "features" like Optimum Autos (seriously, who would ever buy a car via TV?). 

In terms of supply/demand, it would seem to me that the more people who want to pay for an unlimited supply of something, the less each person's part would be.  It would make sense if cable rates went something this:  $100/month if we have 1-100 subscribers, $75/month if we have 101-500 subscribers, $50 if we have 501-1000 subscribers.  I understand that not everyone has cable cable; some people have satellite.  But still, shouldn't the prices be going down to attract more customers? 

In the end, I guess I just don't understand how these things work.  Or maybe I'm part of the problem:  By willingly giving my money to people who overcharge me, I'll continue to be overcharged.  Oh well, back to the steadily-price-increasing regularly-scheduled program. #business
The sad state of men's bathrooms (2) Dec 12, 2007
The men's bathrooms of our nation are quite appalling.  Not in terms of equipment or usability, but in terms of cleanliness and respectability. 

At first, I thought it was an age/maturity thing.  The public bathrooms in the dorms in college were frightening.  I would expect certain things from freshman males, but things really didn't improve with age.  During my senior year, I would still walk in the bathroom and be amazed at what people deemed was acceptable bathroom behavior.  Toilet paper all over the floor.  Water and soap all over the sinks, counters, and mirrors.  Garbage cans knocked over.  It was ridiculous. 

Now that I'm a grownup and work amongst other grownup, professional males, I would expect things to be different.  They're not.  Paper towels all over the floor.  Pieces of toilet paper scattered around making it look like a cat attack.  Newspaper on the floor in the stalls.  My question is this:  Who does this?  Is it everyone, or is it that one guy who still lives with his parents?  Haven't these people ever cleaned a bathroom before?  Probably not.  A lot of people go straight from living at home (where mom cleans the bathroom) to college (where janitors clean the bathroom) to a putrid apartment (where no one cleans the bathroom) to marriage (where the wife cleans the bathroom).  I can tell you one thing:  It's not me.  I've cleaned a bathroom before.  I'm the regular bathroom cleaner of our household (she cooks, I clean bathrooms; it evens out).  It sucks, especially when you have to clean up after someone else (thanks, roommates from junior year!).  And I know for a fact the bathrooms at work don't get cleaned very often, so the stuff that's strewn about will stay there for about two or three weeks.  Do people honestly not understand that?  Or is it that guy who waits until no one's looking then runs around the bathroom splashing water all over the place and throwing paper towels on the floor?  If I ever catch that guy, I'm gonna introduce him to Mr. Swirlie. #entertainment
B-person Dec 10, 2007
I'm definitely a B-person. 
"A B-person - as opposed to an A-person - [is] genetically pre-disposed to operate better and to be more alert later in the day."
i.e. I'm not a morning person. #psychology
Food and weight (4) Dec 10, 2007
If I eat a 9-oz steak at Outback, shouldn't I be 9 ounces heavier?  Maybe I'm missing something here. 

Let's say I eat two pounds of food during the course of a weekend (I think this is very possible).  Let's assume there's zero outflow (mainly because I don't really want to talk about that, but also because I'd need to weigh it, and that's not cool).  Assuming I weight 158 lbs, here's the math: 
158 + 2 = 160 lbs
The problem is, that didn't happen.  It never happens.  I never gain weight based on the mass of food I eat.  Though I don't have accurate (or any) measurements for outflow, in my expert opinion, inflow is way more than outflow, and this baffles me. 

I'm guessing it has something to do with energy.  If E = mc2 (does this equation even apply here?), the energy contained in the two pounds of food I ate over the weekend is
0.907 kg * (299,792,458 m/s)2 = 8.15x1016 J
I have a pretty active metabolism, so let's say I burn through 2500 Calories per day.  If 1 Calorie (big C) = 1000 calories (small c), and 1 calorie = 4.184 J, I burn through
2 * 2500 Cal * (1000 cal/1 Cal) * (4.184 J/1 cal) = 2.092x107 J
over the course of a weekend.  That leaves 8.15x1016 J unaccounted for (it's actually 8.14999999791x1016). 

My question is:  Where did that energy go?  Did I just break physics? #food
Walmart self-checkout Dec 10, 2007
Having self-checkout at Walmart makes about as much sense as selling treadmills at Walmart. #business
Down with NFL Network Dec 10, 2007
I hope the NFL loses so much money through the NFL Network that the only logical next step is to shut it down.  (This is misplaced anger from the Cowboys-Packers game and the game from Thanksgiving night, both of which I would've liked to have watched but wasn't able to because of the stupid NFL Network and it's lack of ubiquity.) 

I guess I'd feel different if I was an NFL Network subscriber.  It probably has some good content, and there's a chance I'd learn to like it.  But that would require me to pay for it, and I feel like I already pay enough to have my brain melted by watching TV. 

It would also help if I even had the option to pay for it.  Cablevision (or Optimum, whichever name they decide to eventually go by) doesn't even offer it.  It's not available as part of a sports package or at some other additional cost.  It's just not an option. 

It would be different if the NFL was just starting out.  It would be different if the NFL didn't have a 50+ year history of being freely available on cable TV.  It would be different if it didn't look like the NFL Network was created solely to make more money, in addition to the billions raked in from beer and truck commercials.  It's hard to feel bad for multi-billion dollar corporations. 

And the fact is, I'm not even home on Thursday nights, so I wouldn't be able to watch the games anyway.  But the fact that I don't have a choice and that I'd have to pay for it if I did have a choice makes me even more mad. 

For the past two weekends, the NFL has seemed to abandon their own rules:  They broadcast a game on one network while the hometown team was playing on the other network.  That's fine by me!  But since it happened so close to the start of this season's Thursday night games on NFL Network, it almost seems like the NFL is apologizing for their excessive stupidity.  "Sorry you couldn't watch the Cowboys-Packers game, likely the NFC game of the year.  As consolation, please enjoy games that we wouldn't otherwise broadcast in your area."  It almost makes up for it. #entertainment
Bible study schedule Dec 10, 2007
It's annoying when the leader of a Bible study rejects questions and tangent discussions "because we don't have time for that".  Why the heck not?  Isn't the purpose of a Bible study to learn more about the Bible and Christianity?  Who cares if we deviate from the schedule?  Who cares if we learn something outside of your lesson plan? 

Granted, this type of thing happens mostly with certain types of Bible study leaders ("Must cover a certain amount of material in a certain amount of time!") when certain types of people are in attendance (people who are incapable of staying on any one topic for any amount of time).  Surprisingly, I'm not the type of leader who feels the need to stick to a schedule.  I'm ok with going on a tangent because I find that people are more interested and involved in topics that come straight from their brains, instead of topics that come from me.  And as a leader, I understand that certain people can't stay focused on one thing for any amount of time, and it'll hurt the rest of the Bible study group if we only talk about one person's ideas.  However, I don't feel that a proper response to a legitimately curious person's question is, "We don't have time to talk about that now.  If you'd like, we can talk about that another night."  Not only is it a cop-out, it's a cheap cop-out because you know that person (a) won't be there another night and/or (b) will forget to bring the topic up again. #religion
Kangaroo farts (4) Dec 6, 2007
Just when you thought the world was without hope, scientists have discovered that kangaroo farts could help stop global warming. 
"Thanks to special bacteria in their stomachs, kangaroo flatulence contains no methane and scientists want to transfer that bacteria to cattle and sheep who emit large quantities of the harmful gas."
Maybe they'll come up with a new law that requires factories and SUV-drivers to own a certain number of kangaroos to offset their carbon emissions.  With headlines like this, anything's possible. 

Update (2007-12-07 11:44am):  One thing I've been thinking about since I first wrote this is how the scientists made this discovery in the first place.  I can't decide if "animal fart tester" is a good profession.  On the one hand, you're going around capturing animals' farts in jars so you can test their chemical structure in a lab.  On the other hand, you get to tell people you're an animal fart tester.  I'd imagine that would supply an endless amount of stimulating conversation at social gatherings. #nature
Finals burnout Dec 5, 2007
After taking the final for my last grad class ever, I felt like I normally feel after taking a final:  Completely burnt out and numb.  I think this feeling happens for two reasons:  (1) I spent 2.5-3 hours working on complex math problems, and (2) I spent 2.5-3 hours doing anything.  It's one thing to do math problems, but it's another thing to do anything for several hours at a time.  Even when I'm busy, I'm still not very busy.  If I work for 10, 30, or 60 minutes on something, I usually end up moving onto something else, getting a phone call, answering an email, or doing something else that takes me away from my initial task.  My day is filled with things that detract from other things.  Alas, that's how things work.  But with a final exam, I don't have the option to do anything else.  I'm totally focused on doing the work, getting it done, and completing it in a certain amount of time.  No time is wasted, no time is spent on anything other than the exam.  It's 2.5-3 hours of totally focused time.  I think that's what really causes the burnout. #education