I think I discovered something that I've probably known for a while:  The way I derive pleasure in life is by solving problems.  Some people are task-oriented and measure success by how many tasks they can check off a list.  Other people are humanity-driven:  The impact they have on other people drives their own opinion of themselves.  I'm a problem solver.  My ability or inability to solve problems can either give me satisfaction or take it away. 

I discovered this yesterday as I was trying to figure out why my house was still leaking.  Several months ago, I thought it was because of a rotted-out window sill.  A few months after that, I thought it was because of cracked pipes.  Somewhere along the way, I also thought it was because of uninsulated supply pipes and condensation.  And while all of those things were completely true, my house still leaked.  Finally yesterday, after all the fixes and yet continued leaking during rain storms, I found the real source of the problem:  A leaking vent stack.  A little bit of caulk when everything dries out, and this problem is solved (or so I hope).  Coming to that conclusion and verifying my hunch was such a great feeling.  I didn't even fix the thing yet.  Fixing it is minimal when compared to the fact that the problem has been solved. 

I suppose this could have something to do with my years of schooling.  I always had a knack for math, so engineering was a perfect fit.  And engineering school exists to teach people how to think like engineers (or at least that's what they told me).  It has less to do with learning facts and equations and more to do with learning procedures and methodologies.  My measure of success in school was how well I did on tests.  My ability to do well on tests was based on my ability to solve problems.  Hence, my entire life, my well-being, and my happiness has grown to depend on my problem solving ability. 

This has a lot to do with why I like what I like.  I enjoy a little bit of computer programming and web design.  I say a little bit because I doubt I could do it for a full-time job.  But the little I do presents me with problems and hurdles, and my enjoyment comes when these problems are solved.  I enjoy what I do at work because I'm presented with little problems like Excel formulas not working and Matlab matrix multiplication difficulties.  Before the problem is solved, I'm stressed and feel like there can't possibly be a solution.  But when (or if) the solution appears, it's beautiful. 

This also means that my inability to solve certain problems brings much unhappiness.  That's why I don't like school.  If my grades are a measure of my ability to solve problems, then bad grades bring bad feelings.  And even if I get good grades, it doesn't mean I know how to solve problems.  As I sit around for hours on end trying to solve partial differential equations, I get no results.  I can't solve these problems.  Hence, they prevent me from being happy.  School has always been like this.  It's always been a roadblock on my way to satisfaction.  Work, on the other hand, is entirely different.  My inability to solve problems isn't punished.  It just means I need to try a different approach or get some help from somebody older and wiser.  Different strokes for different folks. #psychology