Google Toolbar Sep 21, 2005
I'm a big fan of Google Toolbar 3.0, especially its spell-checking capabilities.  It's perfect for bloggers who enter a bunch of text into forms.  The tool only works for forms, so it's almost like Google made this just for bloggers.  I drink the Google Kool Aid. #technology
Art Sep 21, 2005
Isn't art a beautiful thing?  If I'm a 2-year-old, my drawings are cute and child-like.  But if I'm Ringo Starr, my cute and child-like drawings will make money.  Or if I put animal feces on my painting of a porn-laden Virgin Mary, I'll win awards.  Lovely. #entertainment
Materialism Sep 21, 2005
After some misunderstandings about interest-free financing [1] and promotional offers [2], I've decided to take a financial and material break.  I keep buying big and expensive things, and while they're useful, they're at least somewhat unnecessary.  And I keep looking at new stuff.  As soon as I get my new thing, I look for another new thing.  It's like a disease.  So that's why I'm cutting myself off.  I'd like to be content with what I have and stop buying new things.  That's the plan. 

[1] I bought a digital camera from Dell.  I signed up for a Dell Preferred Account because I hoped to get interest-free financing.  I was approved for the card, so I figured I also got the financing deal.  My first bill came and it showed no finance charges, so I figured I was in the clear.  So I bought a laptop on the same Dell Preferred Account, thinking I would tack it onto the bill, paying it off over the course of the next year or so.  I got a bill right after I got my laptop.  It turns out I was being charged the standard 23% or whatever it is.  That's quite a high number.  And I refuse to pay somebody money to let me pay them money, except if it's a house or a car because there's almost no way around that.  So I had to take some money out of savings and pay off the dumb bill. 

[2] I signed up for Dish Network.  They had a promotional offer that I thought said I would get Dish for 12 months for $19.99 per month, plus free installation.  The free installation happened by paying $50 up front and getting a $50 credit on my bill.  I knew about that.  That's fine with me.  So by the time I actually had to pay a bill, it was only about $10.  But then the next bill came, and it was for $31.99.  I called them up and they said it was a 3-month promotional offer, after which the discounted price would go back to the normal price.  Granted it's only $12 more per month, but it's the principle. #psychology
Smart quotes Sep 20, 2005
I hate smart quotes (also known as smartquotes or Microsoft SmartQuotes).  But what I hate even more than smart quotes is the fact that people use them.  Reputable people.  People I like.  Like WordPress.  Why does the default configuration of WordPress have smart quotes enabled?  Why must I jump through hoops to disable them?  There's no easily configurable option to disable them.  There's code, but it uses smart quotes, so it defeats the purpose of the code it's advertising.  And that's precisely my problem with smart quotes:  Things (such as PHP) that interpret code don't know what they are, so they always cause problems.  I think the world would be a better place without them.  Ban smart quotes!  Or use them correctly. #technology
Mispronounce Sep 20, 2005
Here's a list of the 100 most often mispronounced words and phrases in English.  Among my favorites are the US Army's "calvary" regiment (cavalry), discounting an idea by saying "irregardless" (regardless), and joining the "Klu" Klux Klan (Ku Klux Klan).  Of course nucular and foilage are on the list.  I would add the word "assume".  I've never heard a word that's more hideously butchered than this word.  Indians pronounce it "azzyume" and my Filipino co-worker pronounces it "azhyume".  I'm guessing it's a product of an ESL class that taught them to not say "ASSume". #language
Dancing with the Stars Sep 20, 2005
If I've learned anything from watching VH1 (and I like to think I've learned a lot), I predict that in the very near future, we will look back on ABC's Dancing with the Stars with a feeling of ashamed, disgusted regret.  What an unbelievably stupid idea for a TV show.  The premise "is a totally unique and original series that pairs a celebrity with a professional dance partner as they train and then compete in front of a studio audience in a televised dance competition. The pairs will be judged by a panel of experts and also by viewers at home, with one couple being eliminated each week."  Apparently, this idea isn't American.  1 point for us.  It's "an international hit in several countries".  My question:  How?  What on earth is appealing about watching B- and C-list "celebrities" (term used loosely) dance in a competition?  Do we learn something from this?  Do people get blown up?  Are there sex scenes?  No.  No.  No.  Mark my words:  We will look back on this with regret. #entertainment
Christianize Sep 20, 2005
I'm amazed and disgusted by the people who are "in charge" of or associated with certain groups of people.  I don't know much about the 80s because that's when I was a kid.  But when I read about some of the famous Christians, I can't blame people for not liking Christianity.  People like Pat Robertson, Jimmy Swaggart, Jim Bakker, and Jerry Falwell really gave Christianity a bad name.  What's even more amazing is that even after all the bad stuff (prostitutes, porn, adultery, squandering money, lying, etc.) happened, these guys are still in the public eye.  They should have quit the business and moved to some rural town in Idaho (or Sussex County, NJ) to live out their days in obscurity.  But no.  They continue to peddle their meaningless nonsense and offend people left and right.  It's a joy to be associated with people like this simply because I claim the title "Christian". 

And how could I not mention the Reverend Jesse Jackson and the Reverend Al Sharpton?  Since when do "Reverends" head up political organizations and represent our country to foreign nations?  But if they stopped using that title, they'd lose the support of all their mindless church-going followers.  What an utter disgrace.  I can only imagine what foreigners must think of our country (aside from their thoughts about W and crew) when one of these clowns shows up at their front door to talk about human rights or something.  "Who are you again?  A traveling pseudo-preacher from the ghetto?  And what do you have to do with America?" #religion
Statue of Liberty (1) Sep 19, 2005
When I was about 9 years old, I was the quarterback for the "ponies" team, the youngest branch of Kittatinny Midget Football.  It was my first year playing organized football, and for some reason the higher-ups thought it would be a good idea to make me the quarterback.  This happens to be the precise reason I no longer play football.  Being the quarterback puts too much pressure on a single person, especially a self-conscious little 70-pound child.  Our coach Darren (who dipped and whose breath smelled like feces as a result) liked to introduce new plays in the middle of the game.  We would practice certain plays all week at practice, but then sometimes he'd throw something in during the game that would otherwise be easy, but wound up being a huge failure because I knew nothing about football.  So on one fateful Sunday afternoon, we tried the Statue of Liberty play.  The idea was for me to get the ball and pretend I was going to pass it.  As I stood in the passing position, the running back was supposed to grab the ball out of my hand and run with it.  The defense would be thrown off because it looked like a pass but was actually a run.  Me in a statue-like stance:  Statue of Liberty.  Brilliant. 

I tend to follow directions pretty well.  When I'm told to do something, I usually do it.  Or at least that's what I did when I was 9.  I trusted the people who told me to do things, and I trusted the people on my football team.  So I thought hey, I'll do my part, other people will do their part, and it'll all be good. 

We exited the huddle.  I approached the center.  I got the snap.  I took a few steps back and entered the passing position.  And I waited.  And I waited some more.  I saw a defensive guy running towards me.  I figured heh.  This guy has no idea what's happening.  He'll try to get me but then be totally faked out.  So I waited some more.  And then the moment arrived.  My opponent crushed my frail little body into the hard turf, causing me to fumble the ball and give up on life. 

Pretend you're holding a football as if you were throwing a pass.  You're standing up straight with one arm behind your head.  Your other arm might be slightly away from your body as leverage.  It turns out that you're pretty vulnerable.  So when this bigger 9-year-old hit me, he hit me.  I probably cried because that's what you do when you're 9. 

After the game (and still to this day), my dad asked, "Why didn't you move when you saw the guy running at you?"  My answer:  That wasn't part of the play.  Nowhere in Darren's 30-second explanation did he say to evade a defender if under attack.  I was told that someone would take the ball from my hand.  I did my part.  What happened to that guy?  He got confused or something.  He forgot.  Oops.  Sorry, Dave.  Sorry your little ribs are broken and you have a concussion from hitting your little head on the ground so hard.  And thus another reason I don't play football anymore:  the people I was relying on for my physical well-being weren't exactly up to par in the intelligence category. #sports
Driving issues Sep 17, 2005
It's kinda funny how every 17-year-old kid complains about "bad drivers".  I guess I never moved past that phase.  I happen to drive quite a bit.  But I think that even if I drove 2 miles a day, I'd still find a million idiots.  That's just how I am.  So here are a few:
1.  People who would rather die than drive on those yellow striped areas (usually right before a left turn).  Instead of getting out of people's way, they slow down before they even enter the striped areas.  That makes me happy.  I understand the point of these stripes:  to deter people from driving there.  However, I think it's also to deter people from thinking that it's a lane.  I understand that.  I move past that.  And I drive there. 
2.  People who come to a complete stop at a red yield sign.  There are 2 types of yields:  yellow and red.  Yellow means slow down; red means stop, IF THERE ARE CARS COMING.  But it's a yield, not a stop.  You don't have to stop at a red yield sign if no one's coming.  That's why it's a yield. 
3.  People driving in the far-right lane on a major 3- or 4-lane highway, making it so that you can't enter the highway until they pass you.  This is normal, EXCEPT WHEN THERE'S NO TRAFFIC.  Yet some people feel the need to take up that right lane so that I can't get out onto the road.  I know "the book" says to only use the left lane for passing, but it turns out that not only is this rule rarely (if ever) enforced, there's also usually a middle lane meaning that you can not be in the "passing" lane but also not be in the "slow idiots" lane. 
I expect all people on earth to read and to follow this, making the roads and really the whole world a better place.  Amen. #travel
Comedy Central Sep 15, 2005
Remember when the Comedy Channel used to be comical?  It used to have reruns of Saturday Night Live, stand-up comedians, and other stuff like that.  Now it has 24-hour marathons of MadTV.  What a worthless show.  I've never felt so disgusted when watching a TV show.  It makes me want to vomit.  It degrades the quality of my life.  And it's on all the time.  So I don't watch Comedy Central too often.  The only redeeming quality of this channel is that it transmits the beacon of truth known as the Daily Show.  This show is so good for a very fundamental reason:  it makes fun of serious things.  Yeah it reports some news, but it mainly makes fun of news.  And that's what I call comedy.  Unfortunately it's severely left-wing, so the studio audience gets the biggest laughs from jokes about W.  That doesn't impress me, but I overlook it to watch the other funny things on the show, like that whole thing on Mess O' Potamia.  Since I can't take anything seriously, it fits right in with my world-view. #entertainment