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Make a bigger plane (1) Fri, Feb 29, 2008
I have a theory:  Airline travel would be nowhere near as uncomfortable, painful, and awful as it is if they just made bigger planes.  It's really quite simple: 
  1. Bigger planes would allow more legroom.  For everyone.
  2. Bigger planes would allow wider seats.  This wouldn't just benefit fat people.
  3. Bigger planes would allow more than one armrest between seats.
And just like that, I solved 98% of the problems associated with airline travel.  Bigger planes would mean bigger seats.  Bigger seats that fit normal-sized human beings.  For whatever reason, airplanes were designed to accommodate small, dwarf-like creatures with tiny legs and no arms.  Assuming it would cost airlines a bunch of money if they simply put less seats on current planes, my solution would be to have the same number of seats, but on a bigger plane.  And if you're gonna make the "how will such a big plane even get off the ground?" argument, I'll simply point you to the current state of affairs, where a 200,000-lb chunk of metal is magically able to get airborne, despite any amount of logic to the contrary.  Somehow I doubt adding another 100,000 lbs of metal will make any difference to a plane's airworthiness. #travel

Hotels and hospitality Fri, Feb 29, 2008
I feel like hotels have nothing to do with hospitality.  If the goal of hospitality is to provide a person with goods and services that make them feel welcome, hotels painfully miss the mark.  Why would I want a pull-out couch in my room?  Why would I want two TVs?  Why would I want a bathroom with a separate bathtub and shower?  Instead, I'd rather have a simple room with free internet access and free breakfast.  And it isn't just me.  I don't know a single person who, when they travel, spends much time in their hotel room.  They don't need a bunch of useless amenities like a minibar and a guest room.  Most people would rather have a free happy hour.  Most people would rather have a cheap place to get dinner, not an expensive fancy restaurant.  What I really don't get is why I even need to write this stuff.  People go to college for this stuff.  They get degrees in hospitality and hotel management.  Why isn't this stuff taught there, or better yet, common sense? #travel

Living in California Fri, Feb 29, 2008
I traveled to southern California this week, and I'm trying to figure out why I don't live there.  Leaving the typical New Jersey February of 30 degrees and snowing/raining, I got off the plane in Orange County and was welcomed by 70 degrees and sunny.  It cooled down at night though.  To 55.  Waaah waaah. 

Reasons to live in California: 
  1. The weather is amazing.  Always.
  2. It's near the ocean.
  3. It's near the mountains.
  4. It's near the forest.
  5. They actually take the environment seriously sometimes, especially with their electricity-generating wind turbine farms.
  6. They know a lot more about what causes cancer, as all those warning labels on cleaning products and other things point out.
Reasons to not live in California:
  1. It's the land of fruits and nuts, and since I'm not the former, I'd likely become the latter.
  2. Smog.
  3. Traffic.
  4. Property values.
  5. Lots of people.
  6. Lots of weird people.
  7. Hollywood.
  8. Arnold.
  9. Earthquakes and the very real possibility of half the state floating off into the Pacific Ocean.
In conclusion, I could probably put up with some of the negatives for a little while, but I doubt I'd like to spend the rest of my life there. #travel

Fruity salad (1) Thu, Feb 28, 2008
Last night, I went to dinner with my co-workers (all men) at a microbrewery.  I felt like such a pansy as I ordered my light beer and my "berry salad" (lettuce topped with berries and walnuts ... sugar-encrusted walnuts ... mmmmm ... sugar-encrusted anything), but I did it anyway, and it was great.  I guess it's a good thing I'm married.  Otherwise it would definitely look like I bat for the other team. #food

Cross-country flights Wed, Feb 27, 2008
I like sitting in the window seat on cross-country flights so I can see the entire nation's scenery in a five-hour time span.  It's cool to see things change from cities to towns to flatlands to farmlands to snow-covered mountains to red rocks to deserts and back to cities. #travel

Alchemy of dentistry (1) Mon, Feb 25, 2008
I find it odd that we as an advanced human race have pills to cure serious diseases, vaccinations to prevent them in the first place, and surgeries to fix everything else, yet we still go to strange men in small offices to sit on robotic leather chairs, where we pay to have x-rays shot into our skulls and have our teeth scraped with sharp metal tools, after which we spit blood and schedule an appointment to do it all over again. #health

Intelligence Your Life Mon, Feb 25, 2008
I was reading some websites and noticed a picture link for a book by John Tesh. 

[Image: intelligenceyourlife.jpg]

Because of the size of the image, I could've sworn it said, "Intelligence Your Life," as if intelligence was a verb, and by intelligencing our lives, we could finally be called intelligent.  And I thought it was pretty ironic that the title of a book claiming to bring intelligence to one's life would be so incredibly unintelligent.  And then I noticed the "for". #entertainment

Sprint is sometimes good Mon, Feb 25, 2008
Despite my awful experience switching my cell carrier to Sprint (and them losing my old number) and the staggeringly copious amount of negative opinions circulating on the interwebs, I've come to the conclusion that Sprint is actually good sometimes.  Here's why: 
  1. They have great coverage.  This probably has something to do with sharing Verizon's towers.  However it's done, it works out great for me.  I pretty much always have service.
  2. They have a high-speed data network with cheap unlimited access plans.  AT&T and T-Mobile have slower data networks.  Sprint and Verizon have faster data networks.  Verizon charges no less that $45 per month for unlimited data access.  Sprint charges $15.
  3. They have a cheap low-minutes calling plan.  I don't need 6000 minutes per month, no matter how much it costs.  Looking over my cell phone bills for the past several months, I noticed I use about 150 minutes per month, max.  Sprint has a 200-minute plan for $30.  Verizon's closest is its 450-minute plan for $40.  Too many minutes for too much money.
  4. They have a cheap lots-of-text-messages plan.  $5 for 300 text messages.  I don't need unlimited text messages for $15, Verizon.
I could easily come up with another list that's twice as long, full of all the horrible things about Sprint (mainly that it's great as long as you don't have a problem that requires you to talk to a human), but I'll stop here.  Sprint is sometimes good.  You heard it here first. #technology

Startup (1) Mon, Feb 25, 2008
I hate software that thinks I want it to start when Windows starts.  Am I not smart enough to determine what I'd like my computer to do when I start it up?  Do I really need a software developer to make that decision for me?  I think not.  Jerks. 

Today's example is Amazon Unbox, the software that enables you to download stuff from Amazon.  Not only did it make itself start with Windows, it made it difficult to change that option.  Why would I want this program to download stuff from Amazon as soon as I turn my computer on?  What if I'm *gasp* not connected to the internet?  And why does it warn me that I'll have to start the program manually if I disable it from starting automatically?  The word tautology comes to mind. #technology

In a meeting Fri, Feb 22, 2008
What not to do in a meeting: 
  1. Pick your nose.
  2. Pick your nose and look at the results.
  3. Pick your nose, look at the results, then use your pen to remove the results from under your fingernail.
  4. Pick your nose, look at the results, use your pen, then wipe the results on the bottom of the conference room table.
A few years ago, I remember being somewhat afraid of entering the workforce because I wasn't sure if I was ready to be a grownup.  If only I had known the definition of "grownup".  The list above describes the real actions of a real grownup at a real business meeting. #business

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